2008 Woodie Awards
Top 10 ways to break up
Jimmy Faesler
Issue date: 5/5/06 Section: Humor
- Page 1 of 1
Springtime is coming to a close and the physical part of your new springtime relationship is also. You are beginning to realize you have nothing in common, except for your hormones. So, now you have two options: propose to him / her, or break up. Hopefully you will choose the latter, but now you have to figure out how to end it without causing heartbreak. Luckily, I have the solution.
10. Stop showering.
9. Ignore them until they break up with you.
8. Simply start dating someone else and let them find out the hard way.
7. If you're a girl, start mentioning kids. If a guy, remind them how you still are one.
6. Date Jesus.
5. Order them a cake with "Let's just be friends" written on top (Make sure its chocolate, they'll need the comfort).
4. Fake your own death.
3. Be honest with them for the first time in the relationship.
2. Call them by the wrong name.
1. Go on a mission trip.
10. Stop showering.
9. Ignore them until they break up with you.
8. Simply start dating someone else and let them find out the hard way.
7. If you're a girl, start mentioning kids. If a guy, remind them how you still are one.
6. Date Jesus.
5. Order them a cake with "Let's just be friends" written on top (Make sure its chocolate, they'll need the comfort).
4. Fake your own death.
3. Be honest with them for the first time in the relationship.
2. Call them by the wrong name.
1. Go on a mission trip.
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