The Omnibus

Issue date: 11/5/05 Section: In the Spotlight

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It is not every day that a group of college-aged guys dress up as women for a school-wide beauty pageant, but for Maupin Hall residents it is an ongoing tradition during Homecoming.

Media Credit: Kellee Clark

"The beauty pageant is a highly intellectual satire on our society's unhealthy emphasis on youthful beauty," sophomore Brent McCune said.

Junior Nathan Ross acted as host of the pageant. Ross was quick to entertain a rowdy crowd and court of contestants.

Nurse Kodina, portrayed by sophomore Kody Krems, and her escort Dr. Dinglekerry, sophomore Kerry Cissell, impressed the judges with humorous answers to many questions asked by Ross. When Krems was asked why he wanted to become a nurse, he replied in a feminine voice, "I knew I could fix people's booboo's."

Freshman Tyler Wilkins entered the room as Donna, the 80s punk princess with her escort freshman Jeff Horton, both decked out in 80s attire. Wilkins was noted for his frequent outcries to 80s rock stars Nirvana and Styx.

Media Credit: Kellee Clark

Twinkling Tinkerbell, portrayed by sophomore Josh Reding was escorted by Smee, freshman Josh Jackson. The radiant Reding entered the room blowing pixie dust over the audience, while linked arm-in-arm with cigar-chewing Jackson.

Freshman Aaron Streeter was Maria Medusa, the scantily clad wife of escort freshman Donald Carrier. Streeter was noted for his girl power persona and dancing with host Ross.

"As a freshman, I didn't know that these types of events occurred at SBU. Now that I have learned of this event, I can't wait to be a senior so I can win," Streeter said.

Television star Roseanne was brought into the competition by junior A.J. Moore. Moore's escort, sophomore Kenny McCune played Tom Arnold, Roseanne's ex-husband. Moore's interpretation of Roseanne was astonishing.

Stepping on the scene with weights in hand, junior David VanBebber boldly proclaimed his love of steroids in character as olympic star Helga. VanBebber was escorted by freshman Tyler Sammons.

Mary Jane, freshman Tyler Hoover was escorted by the man from Kenya, freshman Randall Stirewalt.

Perhaps the most shocking Maupin man was freshman Juston Davidson, who boldy acted as Daisy Duke. In a midriff baring shirt and above-the-knee shorts, Davidson accurately portrayed his character. Daisy Duke was escorted by Tex Mex, freshman Andrew Frisbie.

"As my makeup was put on, I felt all the masculinity drain from my body," Davidson said.

Miss Southwest Kelly Kirwin was acted out by sophomore Justin West. West was escorted by sophomore A.J. Brewer.

Through a series of questions asked by Ross, nine contestants turned into four, and four into two. A panel of six judges narrowed the contestants down.

The final two contestants were Roseanne (Moore) and Nurse Kodina (Krems).

Krems was named the 2005 Maupin Beauty Pageant Queen. He joins a long line of queens including 2004 pageant winner former SBU student Harrison Scalf who acted as Sista Girl and 2003 Maupin Beauty Pageant queen senior William Jefferson who acted as Queen Cleopatra.

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